Walking on Water

Walking on water? Only metaphorically-speaking - so far. Still, it's a whole lot better than walking on egg shells.

I'm wiped out! It's 4 am and I've not finished yesterday's work yet. But I'm enjoying being up - at my typewriter - er computer - and loving it.

I've heard the rain, and the wind; it's very romantic being up into the early morning. And no one phones in the middle of the night, so I carry on without interruption, except for the moths trying to break through the window panes to get into the lighted room. It's a glorious night.

When there's too much work to do, I'm discovering a safe way forward: not to panic but to relax into the stress, knowing that I'm due for a character upgrade. The more pressure tries to close in on me, the more I realize I'm having an opportunity to grow - to overcome what stresses me.

Have you ever noticed that, when you find something difficult to cope with, the circumstances keep repeating themselves? But then, eventually, when you get fed up enough to refuse to let them get to you, then: ta da! The circumstances don't come back again. Well, that's what I call 'learning to walk on water'.

When things bother us we can either let them get us down, or we can realize it's an opportunity to be stretched. I choose the latter perspective, and I've never been disappointed. Always focusing forward, always hoping for the best, things do work out.

I'm incredibly busy these days, as I've said. But instead of losing my cool, I've learned and choose to focus on one job at a time, doing what I can with the time I have. This it's forcing me to learn to prioritize - something I've hoped and prayed to learn how to do.

Funny... how life and what comes our way is either grand or chaotic; it all depends on our perspective.

Before I sign off for today - (do you remember, I was going to stop this blog 2 weeks ago, before being granted the honour of an award?) - and I expect to return next week, I would like to ask you, dear readers, to seriously consider subscribing to my newsletter the Soaring Post, which comes from my upgraded website. The site is www.LarusPress.com and going beyond the homepage will give you access to the subscription form. I'd be so delighted if you'd have a look/listen to the home page reel and subscribe to the newsletter. Weekly on Thursday's you'll find words of encouragement to lift you, inspire you, challenge you, delight you. It's Bible-centred, equipping you to walk in the Identity God has for you. After all, Jesus walked on water - literally - and he is the perfect model to show us how to do it.

Still Water by Sarah Tun

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Security - Part 7

As we draw to a close this series exploring security and insecurity, I believe the ultimate alternative to insecurity is peace. But how do we live - and maintain - a sense of peace in this turbulent world? My experience says that the ultimate solution is surrendering to God: to His unconditional love, to His wisdom which passes understanding, to His promise to be faithful to us.

From Preface of FREE TO BE: Defeating Insecurity, Transforming Relationships, Building Character

Peace in this fast-paced and competitive world is desirable but rare. There are different kinds of peace—peace from war, peace with neighbours, internal peace. The type of peace I refer to is peace of mind, which is anxiety’s opposite. To be free from worry is to have peace.

What causes worry? Finances, concern for others’ well-being, a lack of control over our circumstances—all of these trigger worry. This book focuses on insecurity, the anxiety that springs from the fear that we aren't accepted. We worry about our relationships if we don’t feel loved. Unconditional love is the only solution to insecurity.

So where do we find unconditional love? And how do we sustain it?

This book is about you and me and how to overcome the nagging doubts about ourselves and our relationships. To be free from hiding behind a false persona and to find total peace of mind is what we want. That is the secure life. Anything less falls short.

Friends, it is liberating to live emotionally and socially secure, to feel loved unconditionally and to express freely who we were born to be. When we are free to be who we were created to be, then we are ready to do what we were created to do.

I fought insecurity and won. I believe if I can, anyone can, which is why I've written this book. Through my journey, I have come to long for others to the find the same peace that I have found.

Do you experience lasting peace? Do you feel loved beyond measure and confident that love is unshakable? How wonderful to have such security! If you've got that, I believe you are rare indeed. This book is a prescription to get to and remain in that state, regardless of your circumstances.

Do you know that we were created and are meant to live in security, confident we are loved for who we are? It took me half a lifetime to realize this truth. I believe we were created to love and to be loved simply for who we are. There are different kinds of love: romantic, sexual, brotherly. But the love I am referring to is unconditional love, love that is based on our existence, rather than on what we do in our existence. And when we experience this pure love, we experience pure freedom too.

Many of us have unwittingly settled for less than the personal freedom intended for us. We endure insecurity, fearing we will make a mistake and bring rejection upon ourselves, because we don’t know anything else. From the cradle our greatest need has been love, and perhaps we have grown sensitive to rejection.

I didn't recognize the full extent of my insecurity until my thirties. I wasted many years being anxious and stressed about my relationships because I thought it was normal. But it isn’t. While conflict in life is unavoidable, insecurity is a learned response, and what has been learned can be unlearned. I’d like you to glimpse my insecurity and my journey to overcome it, so that you can identify yours and be encouraged also.

When I learned that peace was possible, I then became aware that I didn't have it. Only then did I begin the long but rewarding road to healing. Now that I've overcome anxiety and found the peace that comes with self-acceptance, I long for others to find the same, so that all of us can be who we were created to be.

Insecure: by definition means “unsafe,” “liable to give way” (The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English); “not secure,” “not confident of safety,” “not sufficiently strong or guarded” (The New Webster Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language).

I lived most of my early life with a strong sense of self-doubt and uncertainty when it came to my personal relationships. Though I was an able student and popular within my circle, later becoming a competent professional in my field and respected by my colleagues, I always felt isolated and unlovable. I thought I was trapped, wanting to please everyone but unable, and therefore unable to be accepted by everyone. I have since transformed my thinking, and so I am no longer riddled with anxiety and fear.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”¹ I don’t believe that we are designed to be uneasy in our relationships, but we look for love in the wrong places, and therefore, so often, we end up protecting our wounded hearts. I offer an overview of my experience, combining Scriptures and suggestions to guide you on your way to freedom. Having analyzed my circumstances, I offer the practical direction I took so that, like me, you will be enabled to overcome the nagging feelings of inadequacy and fear that I did. To replace negativity with inner acceptance releases us into wholeness.

During my journey from a sort of shadowy existence to a life of what feels like sparkling assurance, I discovered truths and tools that I want to share. None of us will be accepted by everybody we meet. But we don’t have to fear rejection, even when exposed to other’s disdain. Because fear saps our confidence and steals our freedom, we need to learn how to rise above rejection.

The first step to discovering freedom is to recognize that change is not effected by an act of will but by a surrendering of it. It is “not by might” but by the power of the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6).

The Bible says, “Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.”² When I discovered this quote, I was smitten by it. God tells us that oppression will come but it can be overcome. How to correct the oppression that lies within us is the course this book offers. Believe! It is possible to live free from fear—from the worry, panic and anxiety of approval seeking. My prayer and hope is that each of us who takes this journey to security will become the entire person she or he was created to be.

¹ Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Henry_David_Thoreau.

² Isaiah 1:17, emphasis added.

End of Preface

For further analysis, experience, and comment see Free to Be, my first book. Available on Amazon (paper, ebook) and Smashwords (ebook only).

I'll be back next week... same place. In the meantime, happy reflecting - on life, freedom and whatever are your aspirations.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Security - Part 5

Guarantees:

There are few guarantees in this world. "The only sure things are death and taxes" used to be the cliche. That's a bit cynical but with divorce and unemployment on the rise, certainly some certainties are becoming less so in our Western Society.

If you Google 'security', the first items that come up have to do with financial planning. We put a lot of emphasis on money matters and give a lot of attention to acquiring, earning and managing money.

In 1929 when the stock market crashed some people who were wealthy on paper became impoverished literally over night. Some of those people jumped out of windows to their death because they couldn't cope with their loss. Their security lay in their financial circumstances and when that security was lost they were devastated.

And yet I would like to suggest that if we feel secure in ourselves - with the sense of who we are - whatever surprises life may throw at us will be less of a challenge to navigate. Furthermore, the more confident we are in ourselves the better our relationships will be. We will be better able to express and to listen to others. And effective communication has certainly been seen as the root of relationship success.

How do we become more confident in ourselves?
By spending quality time alone, discovering what we value, hope for and want most out of life.
By taking responsibility when we make mistakes and forgiving others when they make theirs, becoming less judgmental, more accepting and more transparent.
By reaching out, helping others in need and receiving help when we need it.

When I look at who I was as a young woman, how much I craved love and affection and put my emphasis on my yearnings, my decisions revolved around other people and having them satisfy my needs. I made bad choices, particularly in romantic love, because I had a need to be met and all my attention was on finding fulfillment in that. What I've come to realize is that when I am willing to give up my ambition and focus on what others need, my life is full of love, joy and far more value than if I clung to that one desire above all else.

Once I recognized my desires but gave up searching for them and instead began to see others and their needs, I became much more confident, contented and fulfilled. The fact is, what we think we want and what we really need can be quite different. Once we surrender our wish list, we can get on with living -- giving and receiving life and it's opportunities. Then we become enriched by the ebb and flow of existence, where the guarantee is that there will always be challenges that enable us to grow in character, personality and self awareness.

As for me, the irony is that once I gave up pursuing romantic love, it found me. I think that, when we enjoy where we are, rather than exist to find what we think we want, life is more fulfilling and the things which need to be are more likely to come into being.

The road ahead may not be certain but when we are comfortable in our own skin, the journey is far more pleasant.

Road Ahead by Sarah Tun

May you enjoy your week. And remember, before too long, this blog will morph into LarusBlog, a part of my website. You will still receive email notification or Google+ postings as you are now. The look and organization will be a little bit different, but it'll still 'me', examining, sharing, flying through life.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Insecurity - Part 1

WHAT DO I MEAN BY INSECURITY?

Some fear is good, some fear is bad... If you're in the woods and it's getting dark and you hear coyotes howling, or you're in the bush and hear lions roaring, perhaps it's an occasion for healthy fear! On the other hand, if you are attending your high school reunion and you're worried that old friends may scrutinize you and find you of lesser value than they are, or you are dating someone whom you are trying to impress and are afraid s/he won't accept you just as you are, then you are demonstrating signs of insecurity.

Insecurity is based in fear. When we feel insecure, it is because we are afraid we won't get approval.

I'm the sort of person who is acutely conscious of other people's moods; I used to be afraid that, if those moods were negative, they were somehow linked to me. I am also sensitive; so in the past, I was generally emotionally on edge, based on the fear that I wasn't accepted or loved unconditionally. 

As a young person, I was incredibly insecure. I tapped into other people's negative feelings, and quite naturally took responsibility for them -- feeling as though I was at fault somehow. I'm sure contributing factors were that I didn't feel I fit in at home, or  that for 3 years I was bullied in elementary school, but for whatever reason, there was inside of me a longing for acceptance that I wasn't receiving in a way that I needed, and it controlled my attitude toward myself and my interactions with others well into adulthood.

I think what is common to all of us is that desire to be accepted and I think it's also common that, at one time or another, we don't feel we are accepted unconditionally, just for who we are.

But anything can produce a good outcome. What matters to me is the person I become, in spite of and because of my experiences, which includes adversity. I confess, I've had to work hard to stop being a slave to my own fear.... it took me years to break the habit of trying to project a perfect image on the one hand and feeling I was doomed to fail, on the other. A change in my thinking had to occur. Now, my attitude is no longer one of fear but of acceptance - of myself and of my circumstances. Now, I am enthusiastic, even in challenging relationships, knowing all experience is part of what shapes me into the person I was created to be. 

It seems to me worthwhile to write about the discoveries I've made during my journey to find security and inner confidence.

What do I mean by confidence? I mean that sense of inner peace and assurance that, in spite of shortcomings, I accept myself and live and relate from that place.

What do I mean by insecurity? I mean  that sense of discomfort and fear, because we're unsure that we're accepted, or even loved, for who we really are. 

When we value ourselves, we exude confidence and comfort that we may otherwise feel we have to earn.

Insecurity: In order to find the richness and hope that life has to offer, I have chosen to face mine and have learned to overcome. I look forward to sharing some of my journey with you. And I hope you'll feel drawn to share some of yours with me.

Until ... two week's time... I'll be back on Thursday 20th as I'm taking some family time (here in Canada it's March Break!).

Friends and Me at London Eye 

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.


See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

My "Perfect" Life - Part 3

My mother had issues with pride. Growing up I never realized that her barbs and jibes came from her own need for affirmation. As a kid, I didn't understand her boasting about attending private boarding school was an attempt to cover up for being lonely, or that her insistence on good manners was to raise her middle class status to that of a woman of culture and elegance. I didn't recognize that when she compared her attractive legs to my stubby thighs, she was seeking compensation for her insecurity.

According to my mother, she was a beautiful young woman, an excellent tennis player and golfer, and had a large group of friends with whom there was mutual admiration. A wealthy businessman who owned a formidable department store chain proposed to her, but she turned him down. "Never go with someone whom you like more than he likes you," she advised me. That didn't speak too well of my dad, I remember thinking. I must have been pretty miserable at home because I remember wondering if life might be better if this other man had been my father, not because he was wealthy -- I've never cared much about money -- but because maybe he would have been nicer to me than my dad was. But misery is a funny thing. If it's your normal emotional state you don't really notice it as such, because you've got nothing to compare it to. No, if you've got low self-esteem you don't put it down to the way you are treated but to something unworthy within. And so in this, my mother was quite successful in raising her own status by lowering that of her children.

In my mother's pride, my brainy sister never quite measured up in terms of good manners or poise. I fared better. Though from me my family had to endure frequent emotional outbursts springing from emotional immaturity, the public face I presented seemed to satisfy my mom. But this prideful idiosyncrasy of my mother's badly marred my growth, and probably my sister's, because values were not discussed on the basis of principles which needed to be practiced but on the basis of how others would perceive us. Integrity was a value my mother professed to admire, but her concern for what people thought weighed far more heavily upon her. She was quite the hypocrite.

It seems ironic then, that she valued my father's integrity so much. Or perhaps she didn't see how lacking in that area she was personally. Isn't that the way with most of us? We don't see our own shortcomings nearly as well as we see those of others.

In my case, however, I didn't see any of my mom's shortcomings. She was my mom and weren't all mothers the same? Although for example, she never had much in the way of physical affection for me, I didn't know it was normal to want it, so I just thought she was the norm and my craving was a mismatch to the rest of the family.

I wonder why, when thinking of her, I lapse into self-reflection? It is likely because we were so emotionally intertwined while I was growing up that, when reflecting on those times, it is impossible to separate her from myself. Or perhaps I'm simply an egotistic (or just plain bad) writer!

What is the overwhelming aspect to my mother's personality which best defines her I think, is what I've already alluded to: the fear of what people would think. It was a mantra as we were growing up. What we wore, how we behaved, what we said -- all these things were a reflection on her. It wasn't so much that she was concerned for our welfare as how others would perceive her. Oh, she didn't say it was about her, but looking back, clearly it was. The most poignant memory I have that crystallizes this is the week before my sister's confirmation. My sister didn't think she believed the words one is supposed to profess at confirmation so she really didn't want to go through with it. My mother's first strategy was to make light of my sister's doubts. "Oh, you'll believe it in time," I heard her say. But my sister, light years apart from me in personality style, quietly and with a rare display of tears, stood on her conviction and said she didn't believe it now and so now she couldn't say the words. My mother grew more and more anxious and 'concerned' about how others would perceive my sister if she didn't go through with it. All was arranged. It was expected. It was what should be done....

How my mother managed to get my sister to go through with it is beyond me. I wouldn't have done it. (But I was the difficult one, my sister the older and more cooperative one.) So out of guilt or fear or perhaps just feeling worn down, my sister went through with the ceremony. She cooperated. My mother was proud (irony and insult totally intended). The day passed without incident as far as I know.

But did my mother ever grieve that her eldest daughter didn't believe in God? Did she ever regret insisting my sister claim something she didn't believe? Did she recognize the irony in bragging about her husband of great integrity and pervert my sister to lies?

It must have been hell to be in her shoes. It certainly wasn't heaven living in my own.

But the thing about childhood is that it molds us and shapes us into the adults we become. I had compassion for my sister and really felt she was right. Sadly, I didn't have the vocabulary or emotional equipment, nor a close bond with my sister to say anything to her or to my mother in my sister's defense. But now I firmly hold to what I believe is truth and encourage others to do the same.

Whatever our parents offer us, be it good, bad, right or wrong, shapes our lives. We are woven from the cloth we've lived and experience brings us to the place we are now. The steps and the people that lead us through our childhood help to shape us.

Was my mother selfish and prideful. Indeed, I think she was. Did she act out of spite. I don't think so. I think she was trapped in fear and did the best she could within her cell. It's sad but true. The best thing I can do with that is to overcome and to treat others, my child in particular, very differently. The best any of us can do with what we've experienced, is to overcome and encourage others to do likewise.

That's the purpose behind my writing.

Until next Thursday, I'll say 'bye bye' and wish you a good week ahead.

Hopeful Heart with Too Much Too Soon - warning: this post is not totally optimistic

One key to ease in blogging, I'm convinced, is knowing in advance of a deadline what you want to write about. I should have chosen a title last week but I had too many ideas and hadn't settled on one. Now, the deadline has arrived and I've got even more ideas... but I've whittled it all down to one topic: Hopeful Heart.

When I think of hope I think it belongs most to Youth. Children haven't had enough experience to look beyond the moment and we grown-ups are in the process of either realizing our hopes or revising them. So, I really think 'hope' is a key to growing from childhood into adulthood with its freedoms and its responsibilities and (especially) its anticipation of the future.

It really concerns me that so many of our youth seem to be suffering from a loss of hope at the time in their lives when the world is supposed to be their 'oyster' and the realization of dreams and ambitions are expected to come forth in only a matter of time.

Today more than ever before youth seem to be struggling with Mental Health. While prosperity in the West is abundant (in spite of economic meltdown) and freedom has been hard fought and won, why are so many kids so full of despair?

Since the 1960's there has been an explosion in the development of human rights, women's lib and sexual freedom. But as with any explosion there is fall-out. I think that although it's taken a couple of generations, the fallout is being revealed now. The sexual revolution is revealing negative side affects on kids today. We see it in the rising rates of depression, despair and suicide.

What do we value most in our lives? I reckon we spend money on education, time on careers but it is in our relationships that we find our greatest meaning and sense of purpose. And while adolescents and young adults are developing their self image, it is their relationships that help to shape this image.

Some peer relationships that kids engage in are just too demanding or sophisticated for their level of emotional experience or capacity. I think a real problem arises when sexual intimacy accompanies emotional intimacy when emotional maturity is still at a developmental stage... some relationships are just too much to handle. When a completely intimate relationship ends, the youth is exposed to a bitter reality that romance, intimacy may not be all that is expected. This disillusionment is, for some, too much to handle and some of these kids sink into despair. Though the moral freedom of the day does not provoke shame, the emotional intensity of the relationship, and of its demise, creates a sense of inadequacy or disappointment (or both) that then pervades the psyche of the youth.

I am linking the freedom and encouragement kids experience in expressing their sexual freedom to their lack of emotional readiness and in doing the addition I come up with this equation:
youth + emotional intimacy + sexual intimacy = disillusionment + loss of hope.

Now of course there is a lot to life outside of intimate relationship to look forward to in our lives. And there are a lot of other circumstances that seem to thwart a young person's ambitions these days, which can certainly contribute to a loss of hope in their future.

But I don't believe that anything matters more to us, inherently, than our need for meaningful and enduring relationships.

It says somewhere in the Bible: 'hope deferred makes the heart sick'. I get that! When we feel hopeless, lethargy sets in: 'What's the point of trying if there's no hope of success?' This state of mind is so opposite to the resiliency, enthusiasm and ambition that comes naturally to the young. And when deep emotional commitment and sexual intimacy bring the development of a deeply personal relationship that is intense and thrilling it's hard not to get drawn in. But with no moral implication and little literature about the emotional demands of an intimate relationship, what is to hold a person back?

It doesn't seem as though enough thought was given to the long term consequences of the sexual revolution. As a change in attitude toward premarital sex was demanded in our culture, a lot more seems to have been at stake than getting rid of restrictions and shame.

When I was training for Shakespearean Theatre I was told: "If there's a word or an expression you don't understand, say it louder!" Apparently, emphasis creates a greater sense of importance and hides the fact you don't know what you're talking about. That may be the case for Shakespearean acting and in fact, the theory shouldn't surprise, because it seems to be what's been running our society for a number of decades. Throughout the ages battles have been fought and won to make our society better for all. BUT sometimes it has simply been the loudest and strongest who have won the war with little awareness of the long term affects on future generations. Shame used to be a curse that many youth suffered because they made decisions that didn't fit society's "respectable norm". It is no longer shameful to be pregnant out of marriage or to live together rather than to marry, for example. But now, instead of shame, I believe too many youth have launched into intensely intimate relationships which have proven to be 'too much too soon'. Sometimes the consequences have been dire.

I would love to see kids encouraged to wait for intimacy - not because it's morally wrong so much as because it is detrimental to their personal development. Their bodies are clearly ready for intimacy, their hearts are drawn, but their minds - in so many cases - just aren't ready.

When I was in my twenties I was less mature emotionally than I was intellectually or physically, but of course I didn't know that. I was too young for my first intimate relationship... and I entered into a poor marriage because I didn't want to let go! That first marriage ended in divorce and the despair was intense for years. It affected not only subsequent relationships but my own self image as well. Emotional cuts healed but the scars went deep. Now when I see it happening in others, I grieve for them.

I haven't a solution to offer. And I'll carry on writing about 'Heart' matters next time. But in the meantime I'll be thinking about young people I know who have lost a part of their identity or their vitality or their hope to a relationship that was far too demanding for their time of life.

This post is the first of a series of 'Heart' posts... next time I will post about the Quiet Heart - to be posted two weeks from today on 31st January. I hope it will be a peaceful way to ring out the first month of the year.

Knowledge versus Wisdom

We don't know how old the earth is, or when time began to begin to mark it's age. We know how old we are - and sometimes we feel full of knowledge and sometimes bereft of anything worthwhile to offer this world.
BUT a shell is beautiful, though empty.  How much more beautiful a human being, full of hope, ideas, thoughts, arguments, inner turmoils. It matters little how much we know.  It matters much how we practice what we know. Fulfillment and purpose comes little from what we do, but more from our attitude as we do it, and our relationship to those around us, as we engage in this age-old journey called life.

Gotta be You

I had a dream last night -- actually in the early morning before I awoke for the day. In the dream, I was in a recording studio and was asked to view a series of videos and given the opportunity to create a RAP for the demo of my choice. It took me a long while and I was about to give up. The styles of the pieces were designed by and for youth. The producer in the studio, a young woman I (apparently) knew personally, had grace though, and gave me all the time I needed. Twice I started. The starts must have been poor as both times she stopped me. Instead of feeling discouraged by the interruption, I realised she knew I was going in the wrong direction and wanted me to do my best. So I considered for a time, dwelt on the last of the series of videos I'll call "Marilyn" (although it was about look-a-likes of Marilyn Munro and Shelley Winters, two stars of the 1950's-60's who were roommates before they each found fame). I have read quite a lot about the ill-fated Marilyn, sex goddess and icon who died prematurely and very much alone by drug overdose at thirty-six.
I heard the RAP lyrics in my head and the beat, and upon waking did my best to repeat and write it as follows....
                                                            "Gotta be You"
I've been around
One thing I know
You just gotta be you
Gotta be you.

You can fly high
You can dance slow
Just gotta be you
Gotta be you.

You can shout loud
You can sing low
Just gotta be you
Gotta be you

You can hope big
You can say no
You just gotta be you
Gotta be you.

Lot's of crazy things go round
Lot's of things bring you down
Gotta be you.  Gotta be you.

There's been times I've tried so hard
Voice inside kept me from pride:
Just gotta be you.  Gotta be you.

When I knew nowhere to hide --
"Gotta be you.  Gotta be you."

You can fly high
You can dance slow
Just gotta be you
Gotta be you.

You can shout loud
you can sing low
Just gotta be you
Gotta be you.

Genuine. Honestly.
Be yourself: Astonishing.
Gotta be --
Truthfully
Free to be ---
Lovingly
I tell you:
Gotta be -- sure to see --
Gotta be ---
You.

(c) Sarah Tun 2011