Going Deeper into Self - Part 3 Finding Peace with Supernatural Heart

The Supernatural is all around us. But when I examine my heart, I know there is only one source of the supernatural that is truth and goodness. Holy Spirit comes from God and is our comforter, our convictor, our teacher; He loves, cares for, understands, protects and keeps us. He offers perfect advice. There are other forms of peace and other forms of the supernatural, but they are a counterfeit of the life that is intended for us. How do I know what is the true source of peace? I know, because I've experienced the counterfeit in many forms. I have friends who have also who, like me have come to experience the genuine article. There is no comparison.

For those who know and follow Jesus personally, this won't be new news. For those who do not, it may be a new reflection to consider.

He is my source of peace.

Last time I wrote about peace of mind. Now, I write about peace... peace in my heart that surpasses all other peace. It reaches beyond circumstances, beyond relationships, beyond the ups-and-downs of life.

For example, in the mundane of my life, it looks as though the family is going to be making a trans continental move. That is huge! I've done it before. I may again; who knows? God knows, and I have perfect peace.

I've learned that stressing and trying to control is fruitless, while diligence and rest in perfect balance get the job done, while enabling me to enjoy life at the same time.

Oh, there is the stress of moving: packing, settling a child, finding new friends and maintaining long-distance relationships with those I treasure (... and when they realize they treasure me back, oh how lovely an experience it is, just to be alive!), re-organizing, ensuring stimulating work while not overloading myself, adjusting (first time) to a foreign language - though my move to England proved to require a more foreign adjustment than expected... ha!... but that's a sidebar for another time!

If the Holy Spirit were to be the guide for all of us, there would be universal peace. Terror, friction, war, dispute, contention reside in insecurity, fear, or the desire to control. The peace of God - through the Holy Spirit - surpasses understanding. Its proof is in the experience. If you've experienced it, please raise a hand. If not, please don't knock what you don't know.

Where there is animosity or conflict, there is a lack of peace; where there is assurance, there is peace.

I suppose that's what Heaven on Earth offers, if only we can get our minds around it.

Until next Thursday, may God's peace invade and pervade your life.


Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Going Deeper into Self - Part 2 - Have you faced the Authentic You?

"What really lies inside me?"

Do you ever ask yourself that question?

Are you conscious of every nuance within your heart? Have you acknowledged every yearning? And if you've plunged 'the depths of your soul', what have you found? A deep need, passion or ability yet untapped? If so, have you surrendered it or have you surrendered to it?

Do you ask yourself: "Are there still unresolved passions within me, for better or worse, that are unfulfilled?"

I do.

I wrestle with myself. On the one hand, I want desperately to tap into the spiritual chasm within me, to discover what I value the most. And yet, it's hard work to go that deeply into myself. I can't help feeling helpless as I do it; I'm driven, compelled to understand my inner world, and yet simultaneously, I fear it.

What is it that I'm afraid of? I don't know which is worse: the thought of dark passions that are heinous and harmful, or the possibility that there is nothing of significance within me. To be 'bad' or to be 'dull' are both undesirable.

Nevertheless, I do press on... Hungry for truth and aware that truth will set me free. I keep digging, searching, questing for who I am. Because deep within me - within all of us, I believe - is a golden core of creativity and energy that is invaluable. I was created for a significant purpose and I desire to find that purpose and fulfill it. And I admit, I hope the same for everyone.

I believe that we are a bundle of thoughts, feelings, ideas, impressions, creativity, and productivity. I believe we've been born with a purpose and we are naturally driven to discover and achieve it. And when we are engaged in activity that draws us toward our innate passion, we are closer to fulfillment.

I press on in my search for fulfillment. I yearn for it because in fulfillment I will find peace of mind. Peace of mind comes when the truth of my desires and my purpose are aligned. Peace of mind comes when the reason for my being is in harmony with my activity. Peace of mind comes when I know that what I am doing is precisely what I was put on the earth to do. There is satisfaction in that.

Still, as I am digging for that purpose, I am also apprehensive, wary and hesitant. What if I miss it? Or what if I find it and it is too difficult for me?

Pursuing, I am full of nervous energy, imagining myself perfectly aligned with my raison d'etre.

Like an archaeologist with only a pick and chisel, I chip away at the layers of my life, at the layers of my heart until the blood vessels are exposed. Then I find relief because the light pours in and exposes those hidden things and the discovery sets me free.

When the dig is complete, the light of self-knowledge, hope, love and revelation will bring me to myself.

And in my mind I will have peace!

Next time I'll share about peace within my heart. Until then, may you dig deep and experience great reward.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Itching for Discomfort?

Have you ever felt so at peace you were unnerved by it? I have. In times past, to calm my restless soul I've taken great measures - to eat, to watch television, to putter around the house - to distract myself from feeling too peaceful.

The fact is, rest has been hard for me. It's unsettling, because I'm not used to it.

But I'm growing used to peace. I'm discovering the pleasure of gazing out a window without a particular purpose, or going for a walk just to clear my head. Refreshed by the pause, I can tackle the next item on the 'to do' list more effectively and enjoy the process.

I've discovered I don't always have to attend to my list. It is ever-growing anyway, and I'll never able to accomplish everything; so instead, I've opted to enjoy doing what I can accomplish within a given time frame, and have recognized most of the must do's that get pushed aside aren't critical to anyone except me anyway. Leaving them undone hasn't made the outcome a whole lot different to my life, nor to anyone else's.

I've come to realize that time is on my side. Those things that need doing will rise to the surface again. I've had time to do that job when it really needed to be done - and often not before.

I don't actually run out of time. Admittedly, as I've tried to get ahead of myself it hasn't actually worked. Instead, as I let each day's tasks be sufficient, allowing tomorrow's tasks to wait until tomorrow, each day seems to flow into the next without anxiety.

Rising of a New Day by Sarah Tun

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Security - Part 7

As we draw to a close this series exploring security and insecurity, I believe the ultimate alternative to insecurity is peace. But how do we live - and maintain - a sense of peace in this turbulent world? My experience says that the ultimate solution is surrendering to God: to His unconditional love, to His wisdom which passes understanding, to His promise to be faithful to us.

From Preface of FREE TO BE: Defeating Insecurity, Transforming Relationships, Building Character

Peace in this fast-paced and competitive world is desirable but rare. There are different kinds of peace—peace from war, peace with neighbours, internal peace. The type of peace I refer to is peace of mind, which is anxiety’s opposite. To be free from worry is to have peace.

What causes worry? Finances, concern for others’ well-being, a lack of control over our circumstances—all of these trigger worry. This book focuses on insecurity, the anxiety that springs from the fear that we aren't accepted. We worry about our relationships if we don’t feel loved. Unconditional love is the only solution to insecurity.

So where do we find unconditional love? And how do we sustain it?

This book is about you and me and how to overcome the nagging doubts about ourselves and our relationships. To be free from hiding behind a false persona and to find total peace of mind is what we want. That is the secure life. Anything less falls short.

Friends, it is liberating to live emotionally and socially secure, to feel loved unconditionally and to express freely who we were born to be. When we are free to be who we were created to be, then we are ready to do what we were created to do.

I fought insecurity and won. I believe if I can, anyone can, which is why I've written this book. Through my journey, I have come to long for others to the find the same peace that I have found.

Do you experience lasting peace? Do you feel loved beyond measure and confident that love is unshakable? How wonderful to have such security! If you've got that, I believe you are rare indeed. This book is a prescription to get to and remain in that state, regardless of your circumstances.

Do you know that we were created and are meant to live in security, confident we are loved for who we are? It took me half a lifetime to realize this truth. I believe we were created to love and to be loved simply for who we are. There are different kinds of love: romantic, sexual, brotherly. But the love I am referring to is unconditional love, love that is based on our existence, rather than on what we do in our existence. And when we experience this pure love, we experience pure freedom too.

Many of us have unwittingly settled for less than the personal freedom intended for us. We endure insecurity, fearing we will make a mistake and bring rejection upon ourselves, because we don’t know anything else. From the cradle our greatest need has been love, and perhaps we have grown sensitive to rejection.

I didn't recognize the full extent of my insecurity until my thirties. I wasted many years being anxious and stressed about my relationships because I thought it was normal. But it isn’t. While conflict in life is unavoidable, insecurity is a learned response, and what has been learned can be unlearned. I’d like you to glimpse my insecurity and my journey to overcome it, so that you can identify yours and be encouraged also.

When I learned that peace was possible, I then became aware that I didn't have it. Only then did I begin the long but rewarding road to healing. Now that I've overcome anxiety and found the peace that comes with self-acceptance, I long for others to find the same, so that all of us can be who we were created to be.

Insecure: by definition means “unsafe,” “liable to give way” (The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English); “not secure,” “not confident of safety,” “not sufficiently strong or guarded” (The New Webster Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language).

I lived most of my early life with a strong sense of self-doubt and uncertainty when it came to my personal relationships. Though I was an able student and popular within my circle, later becoming a competent professional in my field and respected by my colleagues, I always felt isolated and unlovable. I thought I was trapped, wanting to please everyone but unable, and therefore unable to be accepted by everyone. I have since transformed my thinking, and so I am no longer riddled with anxiety and fear.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”¹ I don’t believe that we are designed to be uneasy in our relationships, but we look for love in the wrong places, and therefore, so often, we end up protecting our wounded hearts. I offer an overview of my experience, combining Scriptures and suggestions to guide you on your way to freedom. Having analyzed my circumstances, I offer the practical direction I took so that, like me, you will be enabled to overcome the nagging feelings of inadequacy and fear that I did. To replace negativity with inner acceptance releases us into wholeness.

During my journey from a sort of shadowy existence to a life of what feels like sparkling assurance, I discovered truths and tools that I want to share. None of us will be accepted by everybody we meet. But we don’t have to fear rejection, even when exposed to other’s disdain. Because fear saps our confidence and steals our freedom, we need to learn how to rise above rejection.

The first step to discovering freedom is to recognize that change is not effected by an act of will but by a surrendering of it. It is “not by might” but by the power of the Spirit of God (Zechariah 4:6).

The Bible says, “Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.”² When I discovered this quote, I was smitten by it. God tells us that oppression will come but it can be overcome. How to correct the oppression that lies within us is the course this book offers. Believe! It is possible to live free from fear—from the worry, panic and anxiety of approval seeking. My prayer and hope is that each of us who takes this journey to security will become the entire person she or he was created to be.

¹ Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Henry_David_Thoreau.

² Isaiah 1:17, emphasis added.

End of Preface

For further analysis, experience, and comment see Free to Be, my first book. Available on Amazon (paper, ebook) and Smashwords (ebook only).

I'll be back next week... same place. In the meantime, happy reflecting - on life, freedom and whatever are your aspirations.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Security - Part 3

What is Unconditional Love?

Are you, like me, the sort of person who is sensitive to what others think or feel toward you? Sensitivity to others is a gift, so long as what they think doesn't impact your own sense of self worth. While it is valuable to be aware of others' attitudes, if our identity comes from what others think of us rather than what we know of ourselves, our own self-image can be quite shaken or damaged by another's disapproval.

Children love to please. And if they are pleasing to a parent, they will learn to feel good about themselves. The only problem with this is, what if they are not pleasing to a parent (or later to a teacher, relative, or friend)? From the very beginning of our lives, if we know we are loved "no matter what," we will begin to build a self image that is confident and secure. Knowing we are loved unconditionally, rather than based on our behaviour, success, or appearance, is at the root of our emotional security.

Learning to love unconditionally is a start to learning to receive unconditional love... Or is it the other way around?

I don't believe, personally, that there is anyone on planet earth today who is perfect. Lots of people are very nice, kind or at least well-intended. There are a lot of very smart people and very creative ones too - Leonardo da Vinci happened to be both! And a lot of people try very hard to make their mark in the world. For some, that's raising children, for others it means inventing something or making a lot of money. But what we do doesn't make us who we are.

When we are content with who we are, then we have peace of mind - in spite of circumstances around us.

Who of us doesn't want to be loved, not for what we do or achieve, but for who we are inside? Because deep down, we all must know that, if the money or fame or success goes away, will there be anyone cheering us on anyway, loving us and supporting us, regardless of our situation?

Security is knowing I am loved, unconditionally, for who I am. Security is accepting myself as I am, and aiming to be consistent, integral to who I am, even if someone else might disapprove. It isn't licence to be anything but the best we can be at patience, love, kindness, gentleness, self-control. But it isn't reprimand or shame when we aren't as good as we (or someone else) expect ourselves to be.

If you're familiar with the film, LOVE STORY you'll remember the classic line, 'Love means never having to say you're sorry.' Or if you've read enough PEANUTS cartoons you'll recall Lucy's "Psychologist is In" sign or Snoopy's placard that begins with: "Love Is..." We all have a take on what love is.

I think, "Love is... Unconditional". Real love doesn't stop if we don't achieve or fulfill expectations or behave perfectly. Real love is hard to find - and hard to practice. There are some relationships where love never fails, never gives up, wants only what's best for us. And when we have a taste of a relationship like that, we feel, believe and know we are loved. There is where our security truly lies.

We can find that sort of love in ourselves, in God, in parents, in partners, in friends.

To the extent I have experienced unconditional love, I've felt safe, secure, relieved. To the extent I've felt judged, even condemned, I've had to draw on the resource of unconditional love to help me through loneliness, disappointment, or self-berating. I've learned to recognize another's approval or their disapproval and not let it shake my self-concept as a person who is doing her best, always seeking to grow, love and learn more about life, joy and peace.

Although I've felt love and the pain of rejection, although I've fallen and picked myself up, my consistent resource for unconditional love is God, and He's never let me down.

Food for thought, 'til next time... 


Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.


See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

(In) Security - Part 2

Do I recognize Insecurity in myself?

The funny thing about insecurity is that it can be latent, buried under our every day interaction with others, and we may not even realize we live with it.

How many times have you seen someone dress or behave in a way you 'wish you could but don't dare?' Or have you never been concerned about someone else's impression of you, so that you behaved in a manner different from what seemed organic to you? I think most of us do modify our behaviour for the sake of the company we are in. Sometimes that's appropriate, like taking into account we are with elders, so we defer to them or behave in a more formal way. But sometimes containing our real thoughts or impulses is stifling and unnecessary, but we do it because we feel fearful or intimidated.

I strongly believe we are meant to live our lives in a state of peace, safe and confident within ourselves. And I suspect many of us appear far more confident to others than we feel inside of ourselves. (I've often been surprised when someone has commented on my 'obvious confidence' when actually I felt more like a jittery mass of formless goo than a pillar of strength.) I am motivated to write about insecurity because, for me at least, understanding the 'why's' of an issue or problem is half way to overcoming it. And I'd like every one to feel as secure as they are meant to be.

When I wrote my first draft of my first piece of non-fiction, originally entitled FIGHT INSECURITY AND WIN! I asked a friend if she'd read it with the view to having her endorse the book. She read it, she endorsed it. But what amazed us both was that she said until she had read the book, she hadn't realized she wrestled with insecurity personally.

Isn't that neat?

I'd asked a woman I'd known for years, a director of an organization and a manager of many people, if she'd read and endorse a book about overcoming insecurity, and when she read it, she discovered the subject was currently relevant to her personally. I find that exciting.

"Peace in this fast-paced and competitive world is desirable but rare. There are different kinds of peace -- peace from war, peace with neighbours, internal peace. The type of peace I refer to is peace of mind, which is anxiety's opposite. To be free from worry is to have peace." (from Preface, FREE TO BE: Defeating Insecurity, Transforming Relationships, Building Character by yours truly, aka Sarah Tun, in conjunction with Essence Publishing, Belleville, Ontario, Canada (c) 2012.

So, those of you who read this blog weekly, perhaps you'll think of friends, relatives or yourself as one who would benefit from journeying though your past and present, to ensure your future is full of peace. For some it may be usual, for others rare. But it is my hope that as we journey through this life, we grow to accept ourselves more and find greater and deeper peace as we do.

I had a nice break last week, but it's good to be back! Until next week, may you be very much enriched with each new experience.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

My "Perfect" Life - part 18

PROM NIGHT:

And so I moved away that August, to a new town, a new school, to make new friends.

The next spring I discovered the new school held an annual prom. I remember thinking the term 'prom' sounded dated, unsophisticated. But it was a big deal, particularly for the  graduating class, and anyone - or any couple - could go.

B and I had stayed in touch throughout the year. So I asked my parent's permission and then I invited him to the the Prom. He - and his parents - said yes, he would come. And so he did.

I think the visit lasted 3 days. He must have arrived on Thursday, because I remember he came to school with me on Friday. I felt proud to have him accompany me to class.

And that weekend I fell in love.

It wasn't that my green dress and his brown suit complemented each other. It wasn't that he was taller than anyone else in my class. It wasn't even that the Prom was romantic and a 'perfect' evening, though it was nice. Rather, it was that we sat for hours by the hi fi in the living room, holding hands, listening to Olivia Newton John sing "I honestly love you" and saying very little to each other.

For the first time in my life, I felt peace.

I wouldn't have called it that then. Then I called it love. But now I think what innocent, uncomplicated, mutual first love is, is precisely this: a sense of safety, calm and peace with someone you trust and admire and who you know feels the same about you. It's passionate, sincere and deep, yet without any demands or overpowering urges to deal with.

The love I felt for B was not based on an appreciation for his character. If it were, perhaps the relationship would have been sustained or revived later when we became adults. But I was too young to notice character. Nor was it lust that I felt. Instead, it was somewhere in between - a romantic place where personality and attraction meet without any judgement and with the only expectation being faithfulness.

Sometime that summer I received a letter and B confessed he'd started dating someone else. He'd been faithful for nearly a year and even then, in his letter he asked, "Please don't break up with me." I could hear his heart. I knew he was sincere.

But I heard my heart too, and it was crying out to local boy, a good friend who wanted to be more.

I phoned B to break up with him, rather than to write. He was disappointed and I believe I tried to sound pragmatic rather than unforgiving: "We could not sustain this relationship forever and sooner or later we'd have to stop"... or something like that. Though I never told him about the local boy, he was the real reason for my breaking off with B.

I've seen B twice since then. I know we'd never have been a compatible life match. But I have tremendous respect and fondness for that, my first love, and I wish all my relationships could have been as uncomplicated and sincere as the first.

Now I'm married to a lovely man - completely different from B or anyone else I've ever dated. But I like to think that the first relationship set the bar and it is only with my husband that I have managed to rise above the height of that first measuring stick.

Thank you B for being a part of my history.

My "Perfect" Life - Part 10

ON THE BRINK

Are there particular moments of decision in your past that you remember more vividly than most? Do you remember the moment you made a major decision that transformed your life? Perhaps you remember where you were, how you were feeling, thinking, then deciding... and pressing on, never to look back? I've got one such memory, so clear that it sits in my mind like a good film, vivid, poignant and lasting.

The memory takes me back 30 years, nearly to the day. I was sitting on the shore of my beloved Lake Ontario.

It was mid-August and I was a young teacher with no definite job for the autumn. I wanted to stay in Kingston where I was visiting, but though I'd contacted some local principals, nothing was forthcoming. I could remain in Kingston sans employment, or I could return to the town I'd lived in the previous school year and where I would (probably) be offered a contract later in the month... such was the way school boards operated with new teachers, as final enrollment and allocation of teachers was not carried out until the 'last minute'. My head said, "I don't know...?" My heart said, "Return to Kingston, the one city you feel is 'home'." (I'm a Queen's grad and a lot of Queen's grads seem to feel a kinship for the city.)

I was determined to sit by the lake until I'd made my decision. Being a restless sort that was not an easy task, but sat I did until I'd made up my mind... I'd stay!

That night, I prayed a prayer I'd never prayed before, nor ever since:

   "GOD, if you're there, show me, and I'll follow you. "

I remember falling asleep that night with wet ears - I cried myself to sleep, tears streaming into my ears as I lay on my back until I drifted off.

The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit drained but otherwise it seemed the day would be no different from any other day. Boy, I got that wrong!

(Now I'm going to play a game with you... What do you think happened? If keeping you waiting until next week is unreasonable, please let me know. Or share a memory that you recall (pleasant words only please). I will reply to any comment AND if there is an uproar to my keeping you waiting, I'll finish this story promptly. Otherwise, until next Thursday, best to you and blessings!