Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Eating Disorder?

Have I an eating disorder if I eat when I'm not hungry? Probably. That I snack when I shouldn't? I think so. I'd call it a 'disorder' because there is a pattern not based on physiological necessity but on emotional angst or urge. Self-defined and self-diagnosed, I am guessing that while I'm not particularly overweight (10 pounds should go, but after that, the rest is pure vanity), I do eat to fill a 'hole' inside me that is not in my stomach. I'm a spirit-filled, born again believer, so it isn't a spiritual hole. I'm fasting right now to give space to work it out. I haven't missed food at all during the day, but in the evening, after my son has gone to bed and the house is quiet, the urge to snack becomes very strong and only the fact that I've chosen to fast keeps me from following that urge.
So, I wait, I seek God and I realise -- I want to snack because I feel 'lost'.  There is a disconnect between my motivation to resist and my urge to satiate, which tries to stuff itself with snack so I don't feel lost.
Instead, I write a bit to find relief rather than insight, and I sleep..... I awake with resolve to work out my psyche.  And so, here I am, working it out.  A work-in-progress.

Shall we eat healthy today?!

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