Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

The downside of Perfectionism

Who out there knows everything there is to know about parenting? I sure don't. But I'm learning a thing or two 'on the job'.

My son is still playing violin... barely. If he plays through to adulthood it will be in spite of my efforts, just as much as because of them.  There is such a thing as trying too hard.
I have tried stickers, I have tried encouragement, I have tried analogy (He wants to fly? Playing music on the violin is like soaring through the sky!). But he believes he just doesn't want to play.  I haven't resorted to threats or bribes, and that I will refuse to do. But when he practices I interfere and that is the worst thing I can do.  I have killed his interest through my own perfectionism.  And we are suffering for it - he because he has lost the joy of playing (temporarily at least) and I because I am crushing what I so want to foster.
So, is there a lesson in this?
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty."
God help me to leave my son alone!
All I have left is prayer.  It is where I started and hopefully where I will finish.
And leave my son to practice - and to find his joy of playing again - on his own.
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