Invisible. I like to be invisible. And yet, as a writer, I want my words to be heard, considered, quoted, remembered. I hide behind words, my identity wrapped in my thoughts but my body preferably secluded from show. Odd that I used to be an actress. Or perhaps not so odd, as I quit.
|Seeking Reflection by Sarah Tun|
Invisibility is, perhaps, a bi-product of fear. I prefer my own company out of habit, having chosen a profession that requires vast amounts of time in solitude in order to perfect the writing craft, and complete projects that, for the most part, are one-person jobs.
I like the company of friends; I even enjoy large gatherings from time to time. I'm not afraid of people, per se, though I do shy away from superficial conversation as I find myself self conscious and awkward with silences. But I am immobilized by fear, from time to time, challenged by change - the unknown - whether it's a new project (or digging deeper into one I'm working on) or facing new people.
Then I remember I have nothing to fear. Nothing to fear.
The opposite of fear is not courage. The opposite of fear is love. When we focus on fear, we do become immobilized. But when we focus on love, there is nothing we won't do to accomplish the task, as we are motivated by the desire to display or convey love to the person or situation we need to face. Love conquers all fear. Perfect love casts out all fear. When we love, whatever challenges we may face - real or imagined - become surmountable, necessarily because we need to show our love. Love is the motivating factor that enables us to face our fear and to overcome it.
So, as I sit by my computer, recognizing I need to go a lot deeper into a particular project (currently it's a novel I'm working on), I fear - failure, the unknown, success. But as I remember the people for whom I am writing, ministering, praying for - the audience I know needs to hear the voice of my character and read the thoughts and insights I want to convey - I overcome the immobilization I want to hide behind, and I begin to dig. I dig, not for fame or finance, nor for personal achievement. These motivators are not enough to enable me to take a risk, to face my fear. The one motivator that engages me to look into the mirror, and to overcome what holds me back, is love.
This is the first in a series about fear - identifying it, facing it, overcoming it.
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|Love Hearts by Sarah Tun|
Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:
END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.
My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
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