Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah






Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Brokenness

However I started out, by the time I was twenty four I was a mess, emotionally and spiritually. It was a bit amazing I was still alive! But looking back on what's happened since, I'm so glad I am.

There really are clouds and they really have got silver linings - thank God!

In my brokenness, I wanted love - was starved for it really, and had gone through divorce after one year of marriage and a civil partnership ending within another year of its start.

So clearly messed up in my own mind and desperate to sort myself out, I spent a summer reading.
(I recently watched SHADOWLANDS starring Anthony Hopkins and Deborah Winger. A wonderful quote from that film: "We read to know we're not alone.")
I began by reading THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING by Norman Vincent Peale. If anyone needed to learn to 'think positive' it was I. And in the reading I was directed to the Bible. So I started at Matthew, the first book of the New Testament. I'm not sure where I went from there but in the process I got to praying.
I suffered a lot that summer, dealing with the break up of what would now be a civil partnership - technically perhaps it didn't even last long enough for that. But what helped me through the pain was the reading and the praying. Then one day I said, "GOD, if you're there show me." The next day I was offered a job so that I could stay in the city of my choosing, in the field of work for which I was trained. For me, given the employer called me (not the other way round) and the fact there were few jobs, I took that as GOD's answer.
So in my brokenness I began to move from hope to healing.
I realized certainly I was not alone, though I was still lonely.
Healing takes time.
My journey would include miracles, misery and a mystery that will never be solved.
More tomorrow....

God bless.
Post a Comment