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| Mediterranean Waterfront by Sarah Tun |
I reached a low point in The Adventure this past week. Someone else who has already experienced the transcontinental move to Spain calls it 'a wall'.
I felt weary at this wall, isolated and unfocused.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt defeated, disappointed, alone and weary all at once?
Some might call the feeling 'depression', though it didn't last more than a day; it was sharp but mercifully short.
The low was triggered by our finding the possibility of a new home. Was it distressing because it symbolized permanence? It should be exciting, a relief! But the near-certainty of it brought me low, I think in part because I'm aware it isn't ideal. The location is a bit isolated.
This triggered my awareness of isolation.
The low that came upon me last week was exacerbated with my son being on school holiday; home all week, we used the time for him to catch up on worked missed because he joined the school in mid-October. But my son doesn't home school well. He's a perfectionist who rushes through everything, so it's never perfect, and he's repeatedly upset.
In giving him my time and attention, I had little left for myself. My outlet is creative writing and prayerful consideration of relationships and circumstances. Without quiet and solitude, I cannot process my own thoughts and impressions. I get lost.
Last week I got lost.
Further, we've attended the same church three consecutive weeks and are beginning to engage in some meaningful conversation. But we will, by necessity, be absent for the next few weeks. Have we had a false start at relationships?
I'm feeling better now - circumstances haven't changed but I found time for peace and quiet reflection during the wee hours, while the rest of the house slept. Putting pen to paper, solitude and time with God has changed me.
Over the wall, I can now look back at it, inspect it and learn from it.
What was I experiencing during that low dip?
Lethargy. Sadness. The desire to curl up and keep warm (although the room temperature and outside temperature has been over 20 degrees Celsius). The need to be held (though human arms won't satisfy my need).
The cure? Prayer, silence, writing, and knowing I have the choice to persevere. This is the place where I find God's perspective, and the reminder of why I'm in transition in the first place: because I sought the LORD and His will. Every time I've surrendered, my life has blossomed. Why would this time bring anything different?
Now, there is praise. It came both during and after the low. For praise in what is certain lifts us out of uncertainty. And praise helps our determination. We know that this season won't last forever, that old friends are available, and new friends are around the corner.
Now isn't easy. But now is always temporary.
Until next week... may you be richly blessed, stay blessed, know yourself and enjoy being you.
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| Getting my toes wet by Sarah Tun |
Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:
END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.
My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
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