I found myself sitting on the third step of the staircase in my home - a cosy 2 bedroom row house.
I had just come from visiting a psychiatrist, to discuss and to unravel a recurring dream, one I'd experienced intermittently since my teen years but which had become a bit more vivid and more recurrent of late. I was twenty-nine.
I sat on the step, fully aware of what I had learned, fully aware of the significance of the discovery and fully protected from the enormity of the memory I'd experienced only minutes before by shock.
Shock is a great veil that enables us to absorb bad news in slow motion, so that our minds get round the news before emotion can weigh us down.
Such was the case with me.
Even as I sit here now, at my computer, I am alert to the fact that I am stalling as I write. I'm called to tell this story but resistant to the job. The story goes deep, the ending is life. That's the only reason I am pushed to write it. Not for sensationalism, not for catharsis, only in the hope it may restore, rekindle, encourage someone else.
But I'm not ready yet to say more...
7 comments:
This is a very courageous step you are taking, and I can imagine that it might be as daunting as stepping out on the edge of a cliff that is unstable ground: beyond lies stunning beauty and freedom, but to get there takes big risk.
Many people have helped others by narrating their pain. I agree that sensationalism is sometimes an unfortunate bi-product but only when used in the wrong spirit, and from what I've read of your book, never like that. But I think of many memoirs I have read from people who have endured horrific things, from genocide to civil war, to domestic violence, to brainwashing...and by telling their stories, they help to heal the world a little bit. By telling your story, you can help others to heal, you can help make the world a safer place, and ultimately, you are opening a conversation about a topic that needs talking about. I would encourage you to take your time, pray, be thoughtful, but to take this journey and write it out, when the time is right!
Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
My thoughts as response: the surface of a lake can be as smooth as glass - calm and clear, whether the water is shallow or deep, whether there is an undertow or a peaceful flow.
I weigh my history before I reveal, wanting to bring life and cleansing.
Thanks. Please consider joining this blog. God bless.
I am your newest follower. I found you from a comment you left on another blog.
I write and maintain a blog which I have entitled “Accordingtothebook” and I’d like to invite you to follow it.
Thank you for your kind invitation to follow your blog and all the best with your book titled, “FREE TO BE.” I once heard David Jeremiah say that people are often reserved when it comes to showing the cracks in their life – that is to say share with others the trials they have endured. He went on to say that when people share their trials and triumphs, others are more apt to develop a connection with them vice a feeling of inferiority. In you, the Lord has built a testimony and by sharing His work in your life, others may learn and grow spiritually from it.
I too, look forward to having my first book published in the coming year, but like all things that too depends on His will, His way, and His timing – we need all three working in unison to be in the will of God.
Thank you again for your kind invitation to follow your blog. In return, I too invite you to follow my weekly blog at www.thoughtof-theweek.blogspot.com. There I post weekly devotional studies based on God’s word.
Blessing!
Darryl Orrell
I will look up your blog and look forward to seeing what you've published.
Every blessing.
Thanks for your encouragement. I listen to David Jeremiah from time to time (UCB Radio Canada). Yes, I am working on the next excerpt for this blog series about Brokenness. You are right when you say God's 'fixing' speaks volumes to those working through their own brokenness.
If I may be of assistance: best to type your blog as the following: http:// - not www. as the URL is not a website:
http://thoughtof-theweek.blogspot.com
That should be retrievable for anyone.
Thank you so much for the tip on URLs and I will certainly make that correction, as this is perhaps why my blog has been slow reaching the masses.
Blessings!
Darryl Orrell
Though of the Week Devotional
http://thoughtof-theweek.blogspot.com
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