Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Brokenness - shell shock

I found myself sitting on the third step of the staircase in my home - a cosy 2 bedroom row house.
I had just come from visiting a psychiatrist, to discuss and to unravel a recurring dream, one I'd experienced intermittently since my teen years but which had become a bit more vivid and more recurrent of late. I was twenty-nine.
I sat on the step, fully aware of what I had learned, fully aware of the significance of the discovery and fully protected from the enormity of the memory I'd experienced only minutes before by shock.
Shock is a great veil that enables us to absorb bad news in slow motion, so that our minds get round the news before emotion can weigh us down.
Such was the case with me.
Even as I sit here now, at my computer, I am alert to the fact that I am stalling as I write. I'm called to tell this story but resistant to the job. The story goes deep, the ending is life. That's the only reason I am pushed to write it. Not for sensationalism, not for catharsis, only in the hope it may restore, rekindle, encourage someone else.
But I'm not ready yet to say more...
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