Forgiveness - Part 5

Forgiving "God" :

I think most of us want to feel we have some sense of control over our lives. There are some people, I suppose, who are totally able to take events and circumstances 'as they come', having no desire or need for any degree of self-determination. But I think most people have some measure of desire to engage their WILL to determine - at least to some degree - how their life maps out.

And when our master plan (or key elements of it) doesn't materialize, we might be tempted to hold a 'master planner' responsible. While I recognize that some people don't believe in a master planner at all, because I do, I can't help wondering if some of the people who deny the existence of a master planner do so as a way of getting back at him for not allowing their desires to be satisfied. But that's a debate that might be better explored some other time or place...

(And of course I hope any atheists or agnostics will forgive me for my ruminations.)

So far in this series, I've talked about forgiving ourselves and our families. But what about "GOD"? If there is a master of the universe, why doesn't he make things pleasant all of the time? Why do good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people? And why don't I get my way all of the time (I'm not being entirely facetious)?

Whether we view God as malevolent or benevolent, or not view him (or her?) at all, I believe there is within us an in-born sense that we cannot control everything and when something occurs within our frame of reference that is really unjust we rail! The death of our child, the agony of personal failure, a holocaust or a natural disaster triggers in most of us some kind of disillusionment, shock, feeling of helplessness that becomes anger or despondency. "9/11" triggered a type of grief around a nation and throughout the world that has seen no equal before or since. The aftermath of tsunamis and hurricanes bring with the pain incredible acts of generosity and care. But the 'Where was God?' question echoes throughout society.

I'm not intending to address the theology of God but rather the sense that there is a universal experience of helplessness among humanity that sometimes turns it's face to the sky and says, 'Why is this happening?!' in anger and bitterness. So, what do we do with anger and resentment that cannot change a situation, but that will change us if we don't find forgiveness? How do we forgive 'fate', God, or that invisible entity that chooses to allow bad things to happen?

I say, quite honestly, that it isn't for us to forgive in these instances, but that it is incredibly audacious to think we can see the end from the beginning and even make an assessment. I say, we need in those circumstances to grieve but not to hold on to fury - because that will eat us! We need to ask "Why?" but then to accept we may never receive an answer.

I hadn't expected to write this post - in a way it's a bit of a digression. But as I re-read the previous post it occurred to me that bitterness, which sits very close to unforgiveness, can settle in even when we experience situations at arm's length: situations such as natural disasters, foreign wars, or the actions of a political party or politician. To cope, we may have a target and aim our blame. And if there isn't a human to blame we may make a target of 'God'. But we do this at our peril... not because fire may strike us down! But because the fire within us can consume our minds and our hearts and make us hard, cold or cynical. And it's my belief that cynicism is soul destroying - crushing love, hope and joy.

So, my take on forgiving events or an entity larger than our own humanity - whether it be an earthly entity or a divine one - is to measure our anger and let it go. Turn it to generous acts which can make a difference to those who suffer the consequences of the disaster, or graciously receive the generosity of others if we are the victims. But turning it to fury that rails but cannot be resolved serves no ultimate purpose and eats away at us, slowly, imperceptibly perhaps. Inevitably, we who remain in this state, are consumed by our own hostility.

I've been a bit nervy perhaps this week, but aiming to touch on a reality we all face.

Always there is 'tomorrow' - and courage does it's part to get us there. Though trite, when Scarlett O'Hara said on the brink of divorce, "Tomorrow is another day" she was quite right in her awareness that time does bring the hope of restoration and healing.

Best to you 'til next Thursday...

Sunrise in Winter by Sarah Tun

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

Mid Life Crisis - Part 5

      e
Br k n es
   o    n   s:

There is a story in the Bible, which I happen to believe is a piece of human history, about a woman who broke open a jar of expensive perfume and poured it, along with her tears and her hair, over the feet of Jesus shortly before he was arrested, tried, crucified. It is believed she was demonstrating her gratitude to him. I'm nowhere near as generous as that woman, but I believe I have an inkling of what her level of brokenness feels like.

Over the past month, there have been times when I've felt numb. Weighed down by a loss of expectation, I seemed sentenced to inertia. I have felt the weight of uselessness, purposelessness, hopelessness. The woman who cried over Jesus' feet transformed her brokenness into a generous demonstration of thankfulness at his mercy and forgiveness. For me, brokenness came from realizing there is nothing I can do to make a difference in this world, nothing I can give that is needed in the greater scheme of things, nothing I have to offer that is needed on a grand scale. My brokenness has been all about me. While she demonstrated humility and grace, I have wrestled with vanity and pride.

And yet, time has taken me past myself. The inevitable has happened: I've discovered my limitations, and by discovering the futility of my efforts, I've been given a gift. Coming to the end of myself, I've discovered, is hugely freeing!

When we carry responsibility, capability and opportunity on our shoulders, we are delighted with the strength and self-sufficiency we feel. But if these things are ripped or stripped away and our powerlessness is exposed, our abilities are called into question, and our pride is wounded. When all of our vulnerabilities are exposed, we've nothing left but to feel broken. Brokenness is that state where there is nowhere to hide and nothing left to lose. If pride is the excuse we hide behind to avoid admitting failure, then brokenness is the inability to deny failure. Without a place to hide, there is no shame. Once we hit rock bottom, there really is nowhere to go but up!

At rock bottom we discover our identity and become free to explore.

This is the Christmas Season, a time for joy, love, laughter, sharing and giving. So, to you I want to share the discovery I've made - the gift I've received - which is that, in being utterly and completely broken of any sense of efficiency, confidence, purpose or use, I've realized I am unburdened, unshackled and reborn. I don't know where I'm going, but I don't have to force anything. There may be joy, love, laughter ahead. There may not be. But I've discovered there's peace in accepting where I am, rather than speeding ahead to where I think I ought to be. And in that, I've received a gift I never expected. I've known for a long time there's nothing I have to do or be to be acceptable; I am acceptable. But now I also know, there's nothing I can do or be that is acceptable. Relinquishing any hope I'd make a meaningful contribution to society has taken a huge burden from me. Now, life will unfold as it should, and although I don't know how it will unfold, I'm open to surprises.... perhaps more open than I've been for a long time...

Water Flow by Sarah Tun

So, come on 2014... I'm looking to let the future wash over me. And rather than pushing through the waves, I hope to roll, toss and float to discover how the future will unveil itself.

Merry Christmas to all, and I'll be back here on Boxing Day! Best wishes.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.

See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

LIVING A LIFE WITH PURPOSE

When I was in grade eight I remember the teacher, Mrs Lindsay, asking 'Why are we born?'

I remember most of the answers as she went around the room were, "to get married" or "to die."
I said, "to learn". She must have liked that (well, any teacher would, right?) because she asked me,
"Who told you that?"
I said, "No one. It's just what I think."

I still think that. Only I think the best mentor is Jesus. I didn't know that in eighth grade.

I haven't been particularly cagey about my faith in this blog, but I've also not been too outspoken either, because I want this blog to be accessible to anyone and not to shut some folks out because I'm preachy or 'religious'. That's pretty much how I live life too... I believe in and love the Creator God - YAWEH, and His son Jesus, and I am blessed to know something of His Holy Spirit. Growing in this Faith has been my purpose for over half of my life... and before that I struggled with low self-esteem, loneliness, hypocrisy. It took some years being a Believer before I overcame the struggles, and life still throws curves I don't expect, but I've learned to be grateful for the curve balls and to trust God is in those too. After all, for me personally, I'm here to learn, and challenge and surprise are good learning tools. But I digress...

I want to write about living with purpose because I've been reading a book called The Real Face of Atheism by Ravi Zacharias and he describes the despair that Atheism leads to ... inevitably. He discusses what I've been suspecting. At the root of the teen/twenty-something generation today is a despair, that is rooted not in joblessness but in the barrenness of a life view that suggests life is random, accidental.

I believe we are all brought to this earth for a purpose, both individually and corporately. To say we are here to glorify God may annoy those without that Faith; fair enough. But to say we each are unique and have gifts to develop and share can perhaps resonate with anyone. That's what I believe.

I think there is right and wrong, I believe in absolutes, I trust in a Creator who is sovereign and loving. But apart from all of that, I believe when we have purpose in our lives we find incentive, joy and hope. And without that, I too would despair.

So, for the youth of today I hope we can give them a break and not push Atheism or religion, but hope... and faith... to encourage them to search for Truth. That will give them the freedom to form a world view that gives purpose to this world and so to them, as creatures in it.