Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah

Thursday 22 January 2015

Living in Free-Fall Part 3 Parenting from a new perspective

I'm a parent. I'm discovering that living in free-fall effects this part of my life too. I am becoming clearer about the things I do well as a parent and the things I do not. Opening my eyes, removing the habits, changes dynamics and brings forth awareness about the good and the weak aspects in the relationship between my son and me.

I'm not, for instance, good at letting go. And this is vital for the sake of harmony in the home and the maturity of my son. We are close, my son and I. But I think it's time I partially withdraw emotionally, to give him room to mature.

I'm not one to believe in 'big boys don't cry' and so my son has learned to express his range of feelings. Like most parents, I've always hoped to do a good job at enabling my son to learn and grow into a decent person, and to discover the person he was created to be. But I think we're a bit too connected in this vein and he needs to have room to develop an more autonomous emotional well.

For this to happen, I need to adapt my parenting to today's needs: I need to be more consistent in my expectations of his behaviour and in my own. I need to be more aloof because, while he's getting older, he's not getting more independent, which is not good for him. I need to hold onto lovely memories and be available to discover the new connection we'll make. (It's already happening, it's fun in surprising ways!)
My Active and Athletic Son by Sarah Tun
While I don't want to force him to grow up, I don't want to hold back my son either. Time mustn't stand still for the sake of sentimentality. Rather, even in practical ways, he needs to develop the desire to organize himself, make important decisions appropriate for his age and abilities, and reach out more toward other people.

This hasn't been easy for me to recognize. I wonder if other parents, particularly mothers, find it difficult to see how the relationship between themselves and their children needs to change as their children grow. It seems obvious now, as I write it down, but I'm not sure I saw so clearly before this month, how things need to change - how I need to change toward my child - to be the parent my child needs today.

I see in many ways that he's thriving in the transition... more responsibility given to him is translating into greater self worth within him. As I adapt to living in free-fall, I'm discovering that a part of it is releasing the reins on my son, and we're both the better for it.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:

END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.

My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
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See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.

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