One of the earliest memories I have
|Snow: merely a memory in the month of June (northern hemisphere)|
Then picture a motley band of children trudging home in their bulky outdoor clothes after a typical school day... back in the days when I was a child we were not bussed 3 blocks but we walked... children of all ages from 5 to 13 were slip-sliding their way home through a neighbourhood of cold and snow.
As I walked up the hill from my school, there was a nasty boy in grade six one block ahead of me, instructing small children to jump into a yard that was on such a slope that surely meant the children would be snow-logged as they scrambled back to the sidewalk, and damp and chilled by the time they got home.
I steeled myself to engage with this guy it seems...
"Go into that snowbank!" he commanded me when it was my turn to be shouted at.
"You can't tell me what to do," I retorted and continued my march up the hill toward home.
He did not stop me.
Perhaps this boy had a strange sense of humour, and didn't actually intend to be bullying the small children. Or perhaps my comeback shocked him. Or maybe he took more interest in the next passing child. But I did not have a soggy walk home that day, and to this day I remember that moment clearly. In fact, that is a moment that assures me I had oodles of confidence when I was small.
Now, I've got a fair bit of confidence too, which I talk about in my book about building self-esteem (FREE TO BE) . However, in my life it seems there was a huge gap between the childhood confidence I once had and the acquired confidence I had to work to develop. This lovely memory has been useful to hold onto. And particularly at times when I have sought to discover my identity and develop my character through the difficult teen and twenties years, I've found it comforting to recall the boldness I was born with.
Are there moments that you have to 'hold onto' when you doubt yourself or your ability? Is there something in your past that guides you to understand your character? What do you remember most about those early years that gives you confidence in yourself?
I'd love to hear from you.
Until next Thursday...