Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah

Thursday, 19 September 2013

My "Perfect" Life - part 16

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

Do you remember your 'first love'? Is it a sweet remembrance as mine is? Tender are the years.

As far as I was concerned, B and I were going out exclusively for a few weeks before he surprised me by asking me to be his girlfriend. His asking me out officially was particularly memorable. It was a summer evening (probably in June) and we'd been hanging out with our group of friends since dinner - I used to ride to B's, or another friend's who lived near him. The boys tended to play pool in this guy's basement and the girls just hung around or a mixed bunch of us would play cards. I learned how to play a few games that summer... gin rummy, euchre, poker without gambling.

Anyway, B and I found ourselves outside, alone. It was dusk. It might have been as I was about to ride home and he may have followed me outside. I remember he asked me, "Do you want to go out with me?"
He sounded so sweet.

I laughed. I laughed because I was happy, I laughed because I was surprised (I thought we had been going out already!), I laughed because he looked so scared.

He thought I was laughing at him. I know because he said so.

Unlike what you find in 'rom com' movies, when situations inflate because of miscommunication at the beginning, and the rest of the movie is about restoring understanding, I quickly said, "Yes," which seemed to resolve the situation to B's satisfaction. I don't think we kissed (it would have been our first) - how can I not remember for sure!!?? And then I cycled home, I guess.

The moment I remember well is his asking me. The other details are a blur. And what is important to me in the present is the fond memory of being liked and pursued, sincerely and in vulnerability. B made himself very vulnerable to me, and I appreciate that even now.

Next time I'll write about the 'big move' that would be the inevitable end to our budding romance. See you Thursday... like every Thursday.

Budding Hearts

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