Welcome to A Life Examined

What is the examined life? A life worth living! As I look at the road ahead, I take all the baggage from the past and use it as experience - the pain and the passion, the sorrow and the joy - allowing it to carve wisdom into my mind and hope into my spirit.
There is no experience that can't be useful to me at some point in my life. There is no lesson learned that cannot make a contribution to the future.
A tiny drop of water is a part of the ocean. A tiny speck in the night sky is a ginormous star in the distance. It all depends on perspective.
So, this examined life is to offer reflections in the hope of discussing things which are of value to myself and to others.
Love, Sarah






Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Fear... not - Part 3


Fear of Failure:

What is failure? Why are we afraid of it?

Although I touched on the issue of failure last week, I'd like to look into it more deeply now.

Failure is not achieving the outcome we hoped for or worked for. It is an unpleasant experience. We tell our kids the best lessons come from making mistakes, yet in schools we don't like to dwell on their lack of achievement, and anymore, kids are rarely held back or 'fail' a grade.

We certainly don't like to dwell on our own shortcomings or a failure to achieve. But the truth is, failure is like medicine; it makes us stronger. Failure teaches us what we need to learn. Then, if we're wise, we take the lesson and apply it, making success a greater possibility.

So, if failure is our best teacher, then why do we fear it? Wouldn't it make more sense to embrace it as an opportunity?

Failure is a bit like pain: we need it to tell us we're at risk, in over our heads or aren't ready for a particular experience. But we don't like the feeling of failure. Failure, like pain, hurts. We don't want to experience pain, and so instinctively we wish to avoid it. We fear it because it is uncomfortable and because - we believe - it is undesirable.

We also fear failure because it exposes our weaknesses to others. Perhaps we'd rather appear strong and confident than weak or lacking in ability, because we believe if our weakness is seen, we'll be less attractive or will receive less respect than if we appear strong, able and proficient.

But you know what? When I am vulnerable, I receive love, compassion and respect for my openness. I am affirmed in my weakness for my ability to be real. Friends draw closer and relationships deepen when I allow myself to risk failure and am open when things don't go the way I'd hoped.

Allowing others to see us at our weakest can be a scary experience. And yet those others reflect back the uniqueness that is 'us'. They hold up a mirror to us so we can better see ourselves. We might not like everything we see, but if we never look at ourselves, not only do we miss seeing the failings, but we don't see the beauty either.

Failure happens to everyone at some time or another. There is no shame in failure, but is a common experience. While it isn't something we seek, inevitably, it does find us. Isn't it just as well to get the most from it? Embracing failure when it comes demonstrates maturity, humility and confidence.

We can learn from our failures and grow.

So, let's not seek failure, but when failure does come to us - and it will inevitably - let's embrace it so we get the most out of it that we can. Embracing failure is an heroic gesture and a demonstration of wisdom. Be courageous: admit failure, learn and move ahead, stronger, wiser and more resilient than before.
Seagulls Soar: See Over All Repression*


Everything I write is geared to encourage us of all to overcome whatever tries to hold us back. Fear is a prison when it prevents us from being all we were created to be. Seagulls are survivors. They soar freely across the sky, symbolizing survival and freedom.

So, will you embrace fear and overcome it? Then you'll soar to be all you were created to be.

*Larus Press is Sarah's publishing label. To learn more see: www.LarusPress.com

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.




See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.



Thursday, 19 December 2013

Mid Life Crisis - Part 5

      e
Br k n es
   o    n   s:

There is a story in the Bible, which I happen to believe is a piece of human history, about a woman who broke open a jar of expensive perfume and poured it, along with her tears and her hair, over the feet of Jesus shortly before he was arrested, tried, crucified. It is believed she was demonstrating her gratitude to him. I'm nowhere near as generous as that woman, but I believe I have an inkling of what her level of brokenness feels like.

Over the past month, there have been times when I've felt numb. Weighed down by a loss of expectation, I seemed sentenced to inertia. I have felt the weight of uselessness, purposelessness, hopelessness. The woman who cried over Jesus' feet transformed her brokenness into a generous demonstration of thankfulness at his mercy and forgiveness. For me, brokenness came from realizing there is nothing I can do to make a difference in this world, nothing I can give that is needed in the greater scheme of things, nothing I have to offer that is needed on a grand scale. My brokenness has been all about me. While she demonstrated humility and grace, I have wrestled with vanity and pride.

And yet, time has taken me past myself. The inevitable has happened: I've discovered my limitations, and by discovering the futility of my efforts, I've been given a gift. Coming to the end of myself, I've discovered, is hugely freeing!

When we carry responsibility, capability and opportunity on our shoulders, we are delighted with the strength and self-sufficiency we feel. But if these things are ripped or stripped away and our powerlessness is exposed, our abilities are called into question, and our pride is wounded. When all of our vulnerabilities are exposed, we've nothing left but to feel broken. Brokenness is that state where there is nowhere to hide and nothing left to lose. If pride is the excuse we hide behind to avoid admitting failure, then brokenness is the inability to deny failure. Without a place to hide, there is no shame. Once we hit rock bottom, there really is nowhere to go but up!

At rock bottom we discover our identity and become free to explore.

This is the Christmas Season, a time for joy, love, laughter, sharing and giving. So, to you I want to share the discovery I've made - the gift I've received - which is that, in being utterly and completely broken of any sense of efficiency, confidence, purpose or use, I've realized I am unburdened, unshackled and reborn. I don't know where I'm going, but I don't have to force anything. There may be joy, love, laughter ahead. There may not be. But I've discovered there's peace in accepting where I am, rather than speeding ahead to where I think I ought to be. And in that, I've received a gift I never expected. I've known for a long time there's nothing I have to do or be to be acceptable; I am acceptable. But now I also know, there's nothing I can do or be that is acceptable. Relinquishing any hope I'd make a meaningful contribution to society has taken a huge burden from me. Now, life will unfold as it should, and although I don't know how it will unfold, I'm open to surprises.... perhaps more open than I've been for a long time...


Water Flow by Sarah Tun



So, come on 2014... I'm looking to let the future wash over me. And rather than pushing through the waves, I hope to roll, toss and float to discover how the future will unveil itself.

Merry Christmas to all, and I'll be back here on Boxing Day! Best wishes.

Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:




END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.










My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
Subscribe to our free newsletter, Soaring Post, with issues every Thursday to equip you for your spiritual walk.




See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.