On Being a Writer: writer's block.. authorship and other ruminations

Artists, be they writers, painters or dramatists must perform their art or be less than they were made to be. We are by nature:

"One equal temper of heroic hearts
 Made weak by time and fate but strong in will
 To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." (from Ulysses, Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

I must be a writer because it's official, I have now experienced 'writer's block'.

Sometimes I have an idea to write about, but I stare at the keyboard without knowing where to begin.
Sometimes I've not even got an idea, though silly expressions roll inside my mind, aching to be expressed but without a platform on which to stand.
And now, lacking clarity, I'll simply 'dive in and see where the tide takes me...'

I haven't always wanted to be a writer. In 2000 I felt 'called' to write. I wrote a novel, a bad one. Perhaps there is enough of character and plot in it to construct a short story, but the same theme erupts from me every now and then, expressed through different characters or a different plot, so I've never gone back to the original one.

My first book was published last year. I began to write it in 2004, during a flight from Turkey to the UK... about a 2 1/2 hour flight. In that time I had the outline from start to finish and a few striking phrases. I completed the first draft, shelved the book, wrote a second in 2007, and went back to tidy, re-write and complete. It was released in 2012.

There was a moment, sometime after I'd completed the index and just before approving the final proof, where my nerve endings tingled and I realized, "I'm an author!"

Nothing will take that away from me. Not mediocre sales, not lack of an agent, not dubious comments. So far, I've not sold a zillion of copies of FREE TO BE, and I've not yet sought an agent  (launching a website and drafting other books have taken priority over seeking out a very much wanted and urgently needed agent), and I've only had positive comments. But regardless of how good, bad or indifferent folks may respond to my book, I'm an author and it feels good!

So I'd like to emphasize to all readers: if you need to write, write. Likewise, if you need to paint, act, compose, sing or dance, make the time. Creativity is life's expression of individuality. It's an essential part of being human (how many books have been written by dogs, how many sculptures created by cats...??) It's one way, perhaps the best way, of expressing our uniqueness.

It's best to do a good job, to create well... but even tatty interior design or confused poetry is better than no design or poetry at all.  And practice is the road to perfection. Artists never seem to manage perfection (Van Gogh was never satisfied with his work), but we strive and through our efforts the output improves.

So, my writer's block is a rung up the ladder just like falling off a horse is a sign of improved horsemanship. We can't improve but with failure. So to myself and to all I say, keep going...
The flashing cursor will one day give way to a new story.

(LOOK HERE: bit.ly/11mXDIz For some really cool tips from famous writers in history)
(LOOK HERE: bit.ly/Zj2Ddn For my FREE TO BE website)

Me with my first book FREE TO BE at a public reading

Next Post: Thursday 18th... I'm going weekly!!

internet-induced VOID

   There are times when the internet is not my friend. Sometimes a void fills my mind and I am incapable of being creative. It happens when I’ve been on the internet for too long.

   My greatest desire is to write words to captivate an audience of people desperate to think deeply about themselves, their circumstances and their world. People like you... and me.

   But sometimes my mind becomes vacuous: fogged by internet usage, the deepest I can get inside myself is face level. My conscious mind is bloated; mental clarity becomes impossible, and my imagination, the place where I am able to swim in a wide sea of ideas, passions and questions, has become inaccessible. 
   It's a painful place but I'm so dulled by the Void that I can't even feel the pain.

   When I can’t get past this filter, this 'existence of meaningless drift', I live in a stupor of confusion, boredom and vapidity. In this place I have only a vague sense of feeling: a glimmer of frustration lodged inside interminable helplessness.

   Oh that the Void did not exist. Oh that my brain would not succumb to the numbness of internet superficiality. Oh.

   The Void is our enemy. Its identity is busyness, superficiality, shallow habits of mere existence on the screen and beyond. It is automaton.

   Humanity deserves more than living in the Void. She deserves philosophy, faith, desire, curiosity, hope. These exist underneath the Void, where there is a fullness the Void cannot comprehend. This is life.

   Life and the Void do not co-exist. Life is pain and passion; the Void is dull formulation and nothingness. Life seeks to ignite; the Void lulls the human spirit into detachment and docility.

   Here’s to the internet, bringing the world together, bringing revolution, praise and peace. But avoid the Void that is death: dull, colourless, thoughtless; despair.

   The human spirit is vital and so it is vital we keep it alive. You... and I are much more than the Void. The human spirit lives in creativity. Let us create! That’s how we’ve been designed to be: created by the Creator to create.

  Ah purpose! Reflection has brought focus: the filter begins to lift. The Void is once again overcome.

   As the fog lifts, I breathe more deeply and experience the open window. I escape from the Void and regain Life!