I remember sitting alone on my living room carpet once, about twenty years ago, and mentally beating myself up for a mistake I'd made. I wondered then, how long would I do that before I'd let the issue go? I'd made a poor decision and realized too late to change directions. No one was hurt except me.
I gradually realized that I'd made a decision based on the information I knew at the time; it was insufficient information and I'd done the best I could with what I had. I realized too, if others could forgive me for my shortcomings, I could learn to forgive myself too. That was the last time (of many that preceded it) that I would pity, berate or criticize myself for making a poor decision.
This is New Year. Many of us might make New Year's Resolutions. Often those resolutions get put aside before February rolls in. Will you forgive yourself if you fail to keep your resolution? Daily we make decisions, small and great, that take us in new directions. Will you forgive yourself the next time you make a poor choice?
As it's New Year and my chosen topic for a new series is Forgiveness, I have a suggestion to make - a new approach to a blog post. Here it is: write down your private list of things you'd like to forgive in yourself. Anything can be on that list. It can include things you've done, things you've forgotten to do, neglected to do, refused to do. It can include mistakes or oversights you've made, slights you've made (deliberately or not) toward others. Take your time; the rest of the post will wait...
That done?
Now, will you literally squash, tear or in some other way, destroy the list?
Once the list is gone read on...
Which item or items from the list come to mind now? No need to wrack your brain. If you've forgotten the items, that's fine! If not, I suggest next to write down those few that you remember. Then, as you look at each item one by one, ask yourself, "What is it that I am not forgiving myself for?" You can keep it very simple, being as specific as possible.
Choose one of the items that you remember and determine to forgive yourself for that tendency, habit, oversight, action. You might even say out loud to yourself, "I forgive myself for..."
Forgiveness is a gift every one of us needs.
And any thoughts and comments you might have about this post or your experience, are so welcome!
Love and God bless to you this week. See you next Thursday... AND:
END NOTE: For those who haven't known me for long, and perhaps for some who have: You might enjoy my other blog:
Life from the Lighthouse -- all about what God shows me when He talks to me and I listen. New posts monthly on the 1st.
My website for the Self Publishing House is www.LarusPress.com where I blog on wholeness, witness, the Word of God and worship & warfare. Larus Press offers Christian-based books, blogs and literature to inspire, encourage, equip and empower your living spirit.
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See you next Thursday here at A Life Examined.
4 comments:
Great job on forgiveness blog!
I like your blog format. Do you use Word Press?
blessings,
Pam
Hi Pam,
Thank you for 'reading in'. Forgiveness is something that is always worth investigating, isn't it. We have so much to learn about keeping our peace of mind, and our relationships healthy.
This is a blogspot blog (ie blogger - ie google). I also have a wordpress blog at http://lifefromthelighthouse.wordpress.com
Hope you'll tune in again.
Best to you for this week!
Sarah, I think self-forgiveness is something we don't often think about. But sometimes it's necessary to let ourselves off the hook and understand that maybe we did the best we could at the time with what we had to work with. Perhaps being kind to ourselves like that can help us be that way to others -- and vice versa!
I so agree, Jeannie. Learning kindness toward ourselves is important, just as is showing kindness to others, isn't it!
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