One of the earliest memories I have
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| Snow: merely a memory in the month of June (northern hemisphere) |
Then picture a motley band of children trudging home in their bulky outdoor clothes after a typical school day... back in the days when I was a child we were not bussed 3 blocks but we walked... children of all ages from 5 to 13 were slip-sliding their way home through a neighbourhood of cold and snow.
As I walked up the hill from my school, there was a nasty boy in grade six one block ahead of me, instructing small children to jump into a yard that was on such a slope that surely meant the children would be snow-logged as they scrambled back to the sidewalk, and damp and chilled by the time they got home.
I steeled myself to engage with this guy it seems...
"Go into that snowbank!" he commanded me when it was my turn to be shouted at.
"You can't tell me what to do," I retorted and continued my march up the hill toward home.
He did not stop me.
Perhaps this boy had a strange sense of humour, and didn't actually intend to be bullying the small children. Or perhaps my comeback shocked him. Or maybe he took more interest in the next passing child. But I did not have a soggy walk home that day, and to this day I remember that moment clearly. In fact, that is a moment that assures me I had oodles of confidence when I was small.
Now, I've got a fair bit of confidence too, which I talk about in my book about building self-esteem (FREE TO BE) . However, in my life it seems there was a huge gap between the childhood confidence I once had and the acquired confidence I had to work to develop. This lovely memory has been useful to hold onto. And particularly at times when I have sought to discover my identity and develop my character through the difficult teen and twenties years, I've found it comforting to recall the boldness I was born with.
Are there moments that you have to 'hold onto' when you doubt yourself or your ability? Is there something in your past that guides you to understand your character? What do you remember most about those early years that gives you confidence in yourself?
I'd love to hear from you.
Until next Thursday...
6 comments:
When I was in Grade Five, my teacher, Mrs. Clarkin, wrote in my autograph book: "Always be yourself. Never let anyone change you." I have always remembered that and it's what came to mind as soon as I read your post!
The memory you shared is great too. It might seem small yet it clearly had great significance.
I believe small things often carry great significance... like a smile someone gives to a stranger who may be feeling low and that small gesture gives hope to the sorrowful.
Yes, I think small things can hold great significance. Thank you for sharing your kind teacher's note.
When I was in Gr. 2 or 3 on a very cold bitter winter morning groups of students were huddled in small clusters attempting to stay warm waiting for the school bell to ring. I noticed a girl standing alone against the door with a such a look of despair on her face, her legs were bare and her coat was thin. I remember the compassion which rose up inside of me but also the fear of what my peers would think as I took off my scarf and began wrapping it around her legs in an attempt to help keep her warm. This is one of my fondest memories . Treating my fellow man the way I would want to be is always the best course of action in spite of others opinions.
Oh Wanda, how lovely that you had such thoughtfulness and kindness at such a tender age. Your parents must have been so fond/proud/touched to have their child so compassionate.
Thank you for sharing a part of your Story.
When I was in about grade 4 there was a boy who was teased incessantly - he never stopped talking, he had buck teeth, he really didn't have much going for him then - and in the midst of one of these bullying sessions I stood up and told them to leave him alone. I was then the target of teasing, being accused of being his "girlfriend". But I knew it was the right thing to do. Needless to say throughout my school career my similar actions to ignore the popular people and their demands didn't make me very popular at all. But you know, I think some children know the right thing to do and some don't. Some have initiative and a strong personal "code" and others are just followers. I don't think you can do much to alter this, it's a personality trait you are born with, though some adjustment to this way of being can be learned over time and with age. I never had a problem with peer pressure for the same reason. I count it as a good thing. Being stubborn has it's benefits!
Hello Suprsxysnoqueen,
To your standing up for the young boy, at the risk of sounding patronizing, my first impulse is to say, "Well Done!" Yes, some folks simply have a sense of justice that goes beyond their years. That you defended another person as I defended myself shows an innate maturity. I hope in adult life it has reaped reward rather than heartache as adults are, hopefully, more kind than children can be. Thanks so much for joining the discussion.
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